Books with the "S" word emblazoned across the cover aren't usually read openly on buses or in Starbucks, but more furtively. As much as we try to hide our curiosity in polite society, however, sex is omnipresent.References to it in advertising, books, magazines, TV programmes, films and everyday conversation intrude on our eyes and ears whether we want them to or not. Yet sex is also a natural part of life, and for visitors in a strange land, or those in a cross-cultural romance, a guide might be helpful to navigate the conflicting and sensationalist messages in advertising and popular culture.
And if you think you're a Khun Phaen (Casanova), you might want to make sure others aren't calling you a ta kae tan-ha klap (lusty old goat). If your heart is cham jai (black and blue), or you feel ngao (lonely),tired of pen soat (being single) and are now ha khoo (looking for a partner) and ready to jeep (flirt), then maybe this book can help.Kaewmala (a pseudonym) lived 10 years in the US, which gives her some perspective for comparison with Western approaches to sexuality. A reader can also get the impression (admitted to in Sex Talk's pages) that the book is a way to exorcise the author's own (and her generation's) sheltered and confused adolescence. There are digs at certain aspects of Thai culture - such as the obsession with fair skin or gender double standards - that resemble rants. And the relative sexual freedom of today's youth is often described with something resembling envy. Organised thematically, the 10 chapters provide a brief explanation of related terms. For newcomers to Thai culture these provide some interesting background information; for those more versed in Thai it is a handy guide to the amorous idiom. It could be interesting for either sex or any orientation, since it's basically just a phrase book, complete with a useful phonetic guide for students of Thai and a bilingual index for quick reference.
There are also some interesting tangents - the odd history lesson, including one on Thailand's sexually liberal past, or on regional diversity in terms, or social change in the Northeast. It is casual about a casual social scene, but refrains from moralising. Despite the claims of the back cover ("Hook up and hang out in the Thai erotic world"), there are no pick-up lines to memorise; a publishing industry that feels sexual sensationalism is the way to greater sales has perhaps cheapened a book that is not nearly as tawdry as it claims to be. As a "guidebook to a sexual culture",Sex Talk does ride the sexual bandwagon. The claims to help you "woo a lover"or "meet your inner sexual animal" are grossly misleading and perhaps unfair to the book,which is better than popular magazines or weekly freesheets with "hook-up" issues, in that it can potentially help you navigate a modern landscape of sexual pitfalls and minefields rather than necessarily add to the confusion. It is meant to be light and accessible and improve inter-cultural communication and understanding on a confusing subject.Within its narrow, linguistic scope it succeeds somewhat.
Does the book drastically alter the sexual landscape? No. Will it give you all the right lines to have men or women swoon over you? Unlikely. Will it help you communicate with and understand a current or future partner? Possibly. Give you some insights into Thai culture? Quite likely. Is it riding a wave of sex-help books? Most probably.
Sex Talk ends abruptly and is hard to read from cover to cover, since essentially it is an annotated collection of listings. If it leaves you a little unsatisfied, though, fret not, because this is the first of a planned series of Sex Talk books. After all, in this age it seems you can never have too much talk about sex.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
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